i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize