i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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