Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
