yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have aggressive nipples.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize