is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
