he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
