I faked an abortion last night.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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