Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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