she was so not down for the gang bang
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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