My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
