thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
