Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
