I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
