this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
