And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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