So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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