and she was petting her beer can
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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