dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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