my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
