we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
