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• (323): View more from California

  How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?

  (213): View more from California

  It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.

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