Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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  (216): Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat. http://tfl.nu/4sne
  Replies (8) Good night (981) Bad night (1877)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im ready to get crazy and take my wig off

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  (978): im ready to get crazy and take my wig off http://tfl.nu/0nn5
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i can't believe i had my finger in that

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  (330): i can't believe i had my finger in that http://tfl.nu/9wn3
  Replies (15) Good night (689) Bad night (3962)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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  (512): My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context. http://tfl.nu/nfjx
  Replies (26) Good night (6297) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.

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  (405): He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left. http://tfl.nu/juzo
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (2935)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in

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  (773): She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in http://tfl.nu/bue7
  Replies (6) Good night (4015) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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  (786): It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries... http://tfl.nu/iebn
  Replies (11) Good night (2075) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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  (641): Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone http://tfl.nu/y7a4
  Replies (10) Good night (1536) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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  (508): And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight http://tfl.nu/ebf5
  Replies (6) Good night (1909) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.

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  (908): No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability. http://tfl.nu/nqzp
  Replies (20) Good night (775) Bad night (3091)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.

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  (202): We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals. http://tfl.nu/d350
  Replies (4) Good night (1374) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.

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  (617): We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water. http://tfl.nu/gx4i
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"

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  (630): Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?" http://tfl.nu/11ab
  Replies (39) Good night (418) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.

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  (+44): Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake. http://tfl.nu/d4ep
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.

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  (603): At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great. http://tfl.nu/qakx
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (227)

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