Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

(248): View more from Michigan

Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

(312): View more from Illinois

But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.

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(917): View more from New York City

My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.

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(770): View more from Georgia

If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake

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(702): View more from Nevada

Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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(415): View more from California

You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women

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(229): View more from Georgia

Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.

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