We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.