oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor