I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today