Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff

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  (850): Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff http://tfl.nu/wuol
  Replies (12) Good night (3669) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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  (702): I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless http://tfl.nu/97sl
  Replies (18) Good night (920) Bad night (2293)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.

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  (602): I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/z2qj
  Replies (28) Good night (4511) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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  (713): Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together http://tfl.nu/ix8i
  Replies (15) Good night (1701) Bad night (2657)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.

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  (407): We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab. http://tfl.nu/iyx8
  Replies (14) Good night (4845) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spit up blood this morning

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's vegas.

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  (919): I spit up blood this morning (206): That's vegas. http://tfl.nu/44z7
  Replies (8) Good night (3848) Bad night (1570)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am

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  (703): She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am http://tfl.nu/kql6
  Replies (10) Good night (983) Bad night (4068)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

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  (778): Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me. http://tfl.nu/t7ew
  Replies (2) Good night (1901) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

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  (334): I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call. http://tfl.nu/huax
  Replies (3) Good night (1341) Bad night (2242)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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  (303): Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night? (1-303): Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/jufi
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.

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  (210): It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs. http://tfl.nu/dihg
  Replies (2) Good night (827) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

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  (845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l
  Replies (6) Good night (1423) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE

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  (408): MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE http://tfl.nu/oud3
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.

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  (469): He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out. http://tfl.nu/vcz5
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector

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  (313): Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector http://tfl.nu/dlwr
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (473)

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