she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
