Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!

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  (225): Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs! http://tfl.nu/87u7
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (1023)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.

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  (507): hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning. http://tfl.nu/ul21
  Replies (7) Good night (2268) Bad night (597)
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  (714): View more from California

  you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...

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  (714): you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom... http://tfl.nu/jilx
  Replies (21) Good night (740) Bad night (5403)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter

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  (561): I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter http://tfl.nu/r170
  Replies (18) Good night (964) Bad night (4812)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.

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  (207): so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable. http://tfl.nu/pqak
  Replies (16) Good night (5148) Bad night (1236)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1284) Bad night (3404)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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  (407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu
  Replies (32) Good night (6130) Bad night (996)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (2099) Bad night (1024)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.

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  (303): Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it. http://tfl.nu/2ryl
  Replies (27) Good night (3163) Bad night (644)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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  (518): Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat. http://tfl.nu/lwgj
  Replies (9) Good night (621) Bad night (3446)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.

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  (705): I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard. http://tfl.nu/825y
  Replies (2) Good night (1088) Bad night (719)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Gym?

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.

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  (503): Gym? (801): Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants. http://tfl.nu/eaoe
  Replies (7) Good night (1413) Bad night (748)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.

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  (647): I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/gjaq
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (396)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.

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  (914): Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck. http://tfl.nu/lycc
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (306)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway

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  (708): I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway http://tfl.nu/ggq6
  Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (268)

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