The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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