there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
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Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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