considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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