Your mouth is God's brothel.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
