he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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