i permit you to call me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
