TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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