Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
