Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
