VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
