is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize