The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
