I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You were trust falling into bushes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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