You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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