His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
