Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
