office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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