you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
