ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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