I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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