best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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