My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
