I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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