I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
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WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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