is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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