If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize