Got a toothbrush?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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