it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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