Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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