Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
