i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
