he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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