im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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