Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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