I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize