I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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