Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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