She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
