im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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